So, I did a thing recently. I finally figured out how to view in-depth analytics in Google. Yes, I know. I should know this by now considering I started the blog back in July, five months ago. I didn’t realise that viewing on a computer made such a difference!
I say in-depth, it’s not actually that detailed. But a definite win moment for me 😅
Anyway, I located the section that showed me viewership based on the gender split. Man, was I surprised. The split between male and female is 54/46%. I thought that mostly men read my blog, thinking that most came from AW.
I also found out how people found my blog through search engines. Something else I really wanted to know.
So, hello, fellow females! Glad to have you here. This post is for you.
A few caveats:
My only goal of this post is to educate and to help women feel the pleasure they deserve.
Also, for the men reading this, good job. It shows you’re interested in learning how to please a woman. Experience has shown me that this is more common nowadays (compared with my perious sex work stint during university), but there is still more to be done.
I spent years faking it and lacking the confidence to speak up about what I wanted and enjoyed. At no point do I want to come across as condescending, or sit on some kind of high horse,
nor do I want to pussy-foot around things.
I hope to strike a balance between educating, with self-deprecating humour, possible bubble-bursting, and storytelling. A common theme that runs through this blog!
So. I’m fully aware that you reading this, as a woman, may have not ever experienced female orgasm (truthfully) That you don’t know that you can only come from clit stimulation, which is totally okay, too. Or maybe even you’ve only ever orgasmed by yourself. Another completely normal thing.
There might also be women like you reading this that know they can’t orgasm through penetrative sex. Some of you will have most definitely faked an orgasm.
Trust me, I know. I did it a million times. That was me before I finally realised I couldn’t reach orgasm through just sex alone. I was in my late twenties before I realised this.
I knew that vibrators on my clit felt amazing and made me orgasm. But, for many years, I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t orgasm through penetrative sex.
So, if what I’ve written resonates with you, this post is for you.
Let’s get stuck in.
There are 12 types of female orgasm
According to Lovehoney, there are twelve types of female orgasms.
I’m not going to go into detail about each one as Lovehoney have done a pretty amazing job at it. Definitely go there and have a read.
What I would like to say is that even I didn’t know this until doing research around the female orgasm (yes, only this week). There is still a severe lack of research around the female orgasm because we live in a patriarchal society. Heck, even the culinary industry is still male-dominated, despite the tiresome but still prevalent phrase that ‘women belong in the kitchen’.
For me, clitoris stimulation for female orgasm is key. Pairing this with other types of stimulation really does the job, and is much more enjoyable.
Experimentation is also a major thing. Try different techniques with yourself first, and please try not to feel embarrassed. If you’ve never had the confidence to experiment by yourself (like me in my earlier years), this can be difficult. Persevere!
Or, if you feel confident enough and have the means, experiment with someone you trust. Although I know not everyone has access to this.
Clitoral stimulation unlocks female orgasm
Tied in with the above, and something I talk about a lot on this blog, a lot of women can’t orgasm through just penetrative sex alone.
If you want to read more, here are some useful links for you:
Leveling Up on Going Down: Giving Better Oral Sex
Penis Size DOES NOT Matter – From an Escort
The Famous G-Spot (For Men and Women)
I’m not going to harp on about this again, but it’s a necessary point I had to make.
Kissing, licking and teasing will lead to female orgasm
It’s now widely known that women can achieve orgasm through touch only. Foreplay is paramount.
Therefore, if you want to unleash the female orgasm, you HAVE and WANT, I repeat, WANT to engage in things other than being pounded by a penis.
Other than in porn, being railed with a penis does very little for the female orgasm.
We need time, sometimes lube, variety, sense stimulation, cuddling, connection, etc.
Open communication and being relaxed is massively important for women to orgasm
Tied in with the point above, women cannot just orgasm by being thrusted in. If you’re a person with a penis and have read this far, and still believe women just need a ‘good fuck’, please exit my blog. You’ve got no hope.
As a sex worker who is honest (just a bad liar really, so I don’t bother even trying), there have been many-a-time where my orgasm was a big turn on for my companion. I always made it clear that I couldn’t promise this because of the nervousness involved in outcalls, especially if it wasn’t someone I’d met before.
Communication and feeling relaxed, for me, go hand in hand. I feel more comfortable and relaxed the more we communicate.
You absolutely cannot rush that process. If you care about the female orgasm (either as the woman or the man), have bloody patience.
G-spot is G-licious
The best orgasms for me come from a vibrator on my clit and either fingers inside me, a penis, or a dildo. Even better, if the fingers that are attached to someone that knows how to reach the female G-spot, you’re on to a winner.
The orgasm feels more intense, deeper and sends tingles through me.
If I’m by myself, I’ll sometimes use a vibrator on my clit and put two of my fingers inside me. If I’m with someone, I’ll direct them on how to do it. The fingers don’t even that far, just enough to feel my G-spot (FYI – it feels spongy). I’ll probably write another post another day about this.
There’s so much more I could write about, but I’ll finish it here.
Do you have any thoughts or anything you’d add? Let me know in the comments!
Ya ra,
Lexi Rose
Xx
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