Exploring Sexuality – A Guide to Kinks and Fetishes

Have you ever wondered how many kinks are actually out there? This post was inspired by the recent Forbidden Fridays post I wrote.

Quick warning:

I won’t be addressing any kinks that are against the law in the UK. If you want those sort of things, you’ll need the dark web for that and I can’t welcome them on this blog. My blog will be taken down in a hot minute if I do, and I really don’t want that, as you can imagine!

On that note, there is still a lot of shame and secrecy around kinks and fetishes. Unless you’re in the right kind of company, it can feel really embarassing to even share your kinks with someone.

Photo credit: Lamerie on VisualHunt

That’s where I step in.

I LOVE talking about kinks and fantasy, and nothing embarrasses me nowadays. I also love to help other people explore their own fantasies and kinks, whether by themselves or with their partner.

The aim of my game here is to help you explore kinks and fetishes in a safe space, and maybe discover new one you’d like to try out.

As part of my usual research around the topic I’m addressing, a quick Google search on kinks brings up words such as ‘freaky’ and ‘weird’.

Neither of these words should be used when talking about this topic. I want to promote sex positivity, not sex-embarrassment.

Here are a few links you might want to check out that I found useful to read:

Lovehoney’s The A-Z of Kink

Glamour’s Kinks and Fetishes: An A to Z Guide

Cosmopolitan’s 56 Kinks, Fetishes, and Terms You Should Absolutely Know

Men’s Health: A List of 30 Sexual Kinks and Fetishes We Know You’re Curious About

The VICE Guide to Kink

Also, I’m not a sex therapist, nor am I qualified in any counselling-type industry. I’m sharing my personal point of view as a sex worker and blogger. Most importantly, I am a real person; a fellow human.

Shall we get started, then?

These are in no particular order or alphabetical, just how they popped into my head. I’m far too dis-organised for that, ha.

This list is not exhaustive.

If you’re looking for an exhaustive list (239 to be exact), visit Bad Girls Bible for that. Over there, you’ll find descriptive explanations for every type of fetish you might possibly have. Definitely worth a read.

Over here, I’d like to delve into a few specific ones, discuss each one, and add a sprinkling of my own personal experience in-between.

Let’s get stuck in.

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Voyeurism

This is the act of watching someone else naked or engaging in some kind of sexual activity. This has always been a turn on to me. I can imagine that voyeurists would enjoy swinging, or the live sex shows you can see in the red light district in Amerstdam.

This could be either by yourself, with friends, or with a partner (the latter needing communication from both sides). Like exhibitionism, voyeurism should involve consenting adults only.

Threesomes
Photo credit: croshane photography on Visualhunt.com

This is a kink/fetish that I’ve personally had enjoyment out of. It’s a common fantasy for a lot of people, whether that be FFM, MMM, FFF, or FMM.

It’s not for everyone, some people would like to keep their bedroom fun as a pair, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to bring an extra person into the mix. Many, many people engage in this, all of the time.

Exhibitionism

This relates to voyeurism, whereby you enjoy to perform sexual acts in front of people, or like to be watched. This is another kink that I quite enjoy. I like the thought of being caught doing something naughty, and being watched. This only ever culminates as fantasy for me, unless there is absolutely no risk of being seen by anyone else other than the person I want watching.

How risky this kink is also depends on the person, and it should be noted that its important to make sure you’re not going to end up with a criminal record because of it. Exhibitionism should be enjoyed with consenting adults.

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Facials

Another one I quite enjoy! Facials refer to the act of a man coming on the face of their sexual partner (be is male or female). It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and needs consent, as always.

Some may see it as a submissive stance, as the person ejaculating on the other person may feel some control over the other person. There are no rules, however.

Face sitting

Another kink that I get asked about a lot. I’ve only discovered recently that quite a lot of men like women to plonk their bums straight onto their faces!

Again, when I was involved in the sex industry back at university (read thr first ever blog post I wrote about that here), this never really seemed a thing. It feels like men are much more open to this nowadays, not that I’m complaining!

Face sitting kinda coincides eith the ’69’ if the woman is on top. Another enjoyable position to get involved in.

Teeny plug: I wrote about spicing up your sex positions if you fancy a read?

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Anal

My research led me to discover that anal is a kink – I didn’t know that!

But, I can see why. Its not everyone’s cup of tea. I only recently took it off my ‘likes’ list on Adultwork, just to be true to myself and be fully comfortable in any of my interactions.

Anal play, whether with fingers, toys or stretching, takes work. It also takes time. it’s not something I could ever just do on demand. I also learned recently that it could also lead to longer term repercussions for the person receiving anal, not in a nice way.

Bukkake

Similarly to a facial, bukkake involves one person being ejaculated on by lots of other people. Bukkake usually involves the woman being the receiver, and the participants being men. This kink can be easily found through the usual porn sites, and is quite popular.

As a woman and sex worker, I’d be able to agree to this. But, I 100% support anyone that takes part in it.

Photo credit: IdentityTBD on VisualHunt
BDSM

This stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. Yes, I did need to Google this.

I’ll admit, this topic isn’t something I know much about.

What I do know is that BDSM involves a wide range of practices that explore the pleasure-pain threshold.

Examples include spanking, whipping, tying up and restraint.

Rather me rattle on about something I don’t know much about, to learn more, Lovehoney has a great article about it.

In addition, BDSM practices can involve potential injury or worse, and is not something I want to address further.

Fisting

As a female, I can only apply this from my perspective. Fisting, for me, involves someone’s fist being pushed into my vagina.

I can see the attraction from both sides as a kink/fetish. Some women liked to be stretched, and some men like to see a woman being stretched.

Personally, I prefer girth over length. I’ve talked about this before:

Penis Size DOES NOT Matter – From an Escort

Sex Toys 101

Yes, I have been fisted. But, it takes a lot of preparation and ‘working-up’ to the actual fist.

It’s really important that you start off with two fingers, then 3, then 4, and finally the thumb.

Also, lube is absolutely essential.

Here are some useful images that show the important steps, courtesy of omgkinky.com:

Foot worship

One of the oldest fetishes in human history.

According to Popsugar.com.au, the earliest recorded written foot fetishisms were around 100AD, by a Greek philosopher.

I first discovered the foot fetish when I learned about foot binding in China. I remember seeing the images of women binding their feet to become more attractive to wealthier families, so as to get married. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna share them here.

More recently, foot fetish involves massage, kissing, wearing tights, used tights, used socks, and so much more. There are dedicated websites for foot fetishes nowadays.

Photo credit: lili.chin on VisualHunt.com
Sploshing/food play

Sexual exploration with food can involve many avenues. Personally, I’ve never experienced it as a sex worker or in my personal life.

Sploshing brings to mind things like: strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate, cake, ice, honey, and more.

Bet it’s a lot of fun!

Photo credit: Wade Brooks on VisualHunt
Cuckold

This fetish relates to a man getting enjoyment from seeing their partner having sex with another person. I can certainly see the appeal.

Cuckold is similar to voyeurism, exhibitionism and threesomes. Potentially not being the only man your partner has sex with might be a turn on for you.

Being into this doesn’t make you less of a man, contrary to come people’s opinion. You also don’t need a ‘bull’, nor do you need to be gay to want to experience this.

There seems to be a huge range of problematic stereotypes surrounding this kink. Just know that if you want to explore it, just do it.

Watersports

Most of have probably now heard about watersports, as it’s pretty popular nowadays.

Watersports might also be called ‘the golden shower’, as it symbolises the colour of our wee.

Watersports is the act of either peeing or being peed on. It could be both naked or clothed, and the setting can vary.

Since joining joining the sex industry recently, I have taken part in watersports. Here are a few things worth considering:

  • No matter how much liquid I drink, I get stage-fright in the moment. I can’t perform on demand
  • Location matters. Anywhere other than the bathroom is a no-go for me
  • Nerves affect me. A first meeting with a client makes it almost impossible
Photo credit: Super Rabbit One on VisualHunt.com
Hardsports

Hardsports is the level up from watersports. It involves defecation and faeces, where someone poos on another. It might also involve playing with the poo.

Kinkly talks more about it here.

This isn’t something I’m okay with as a sex worker. I understand the reasons around this kink, but there are risks involved.

Faeces can carry bacteria and disease, so it’s really important to be aware of this if wanting to experiment with hardsports.

Cunnilingus/pussy play

Finally, let’s talk about pussy play/cunnilingus.

Some may not view this is as a kink/fetish, and I get that. However, Bad Girls Bible does list it as one.

I suppose it’s because some may not want to worship the pussy, and some may view it as being submissive to the woman.

That’s totally okay.

But, plenty of people (men, in my experience) LOVE to give oral and play with their partner’s pussy. Long may it continue!

And… there we have it.

I’m proud of you if you made it to the end – it was no mean feat!

Let me know if you would add anything else to this list, I’d love to hear from you.

Although, it would definitely need to go onto a new blog post 😂

Ta-ra!

Lexi Rose

Xx

6 Comments

  1. avatar
    M says:

    Had a look at the links & was not expecting to see Yeastiality as a real thing! Had a flashback to American Pie movie 😅

    Figging – not what I thought considering there’s no figs involved, but does sound interesting to administer on a willing party.

    Couple you could add to the list:
    Face Fucking
    Pussy Pumping…. Potential future sex toy review?

    6 Comments
    Reply
    1. avatar
      roselexi164 says:

      Oh wow, I also had to Google both of those and had no idea!

      I like your ideas though, thanks for that! I would never have thought about those!

      I also have a feeling that as I experience more, I’ll definitely be able to write a second post with new fetishes!

      6 Comments
      Reply

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