Have you ever wanted to know how to truly go down on a woman and please her?
Or would you love to know how to give the best blow job ever?
Based on my own experience and through research, I’ve compiled a thorough article especially for you!
I have touched upon penis size and how it doesn’t matter here, but this article doesn’t address oral sex.
*warning*
This is a long read so you may want to bookmark this for later 😉
As part of sexual experience and exploration, you might have wondered how to really go down on your partner and give them the best head they’ve ever felt. This applies to both men and women.
Yes, there is a tonne of stuff online about giving good oral, ranging from a medical point of view, through to seeing porn focussed on fetish/kink. I’d like to try and reach a balance between the two.
I want to give you realistic and practical ideas around giving good head/oral sex, whilst also educating through diagrams and pictures. Hopefully you come away with some ideas!
Quickly, before we delve into different techniques, it’s really important to discuss a few very important aspects:
Fear/worry about not performing well
I remember when I was younger, I really worried about both giving and receiving oral. I think age plays an important factor when it comes to oral. A quick Google search looking for advice around oral seems to centre around younger people, and I’m not surprised. I’m much more confident with my mouth now than I’ve ever been now I’m in my thirties.
Worrying about what they might be thinking when you’re giving oral sex isn’t helpful. I know, easier said than done. But, the more you hear this fact, the more you may start to believe it.
I can promise you that your recipient will enjoy anything you do, and appreciate your efforts. Unless they’re narcissistic. Or psychopathic. Probably best to not even bother in that case, for the sake of your own sanity.
But the majority of sexual partners will enjoy the exploration with you.
The other point I need to make is that, no matter your age, confidence and communication are so so important when giving and/or receiving oral sex.
Again, this isn’t something that comes naturally to us all, and there’s no prescribed age when we have that epiphany moment. Each of us are on our own sexual journeys, whether solo or in a relationship.
That’s where I step in with this article. Your knight in shining armour, if you will.
Confidence in your oral skills comes from communication. Remember: When you’re in bed with your lover, there’s no one else there except the two of you. You can both laugh together about any possible awkwardness, if that’s how you feel. If anything, it’ll probably help break the ice!
To sum up this point, asking questions might help guide you as part of healthy communication. If you don’t ask, how are you going to know what they like or don’t like?
Not sure what to ask? Here are questions you could ask around oral sex:
– “Does that feel good?”
– “Harder or softer?”
– “Should I change direction?”
– “Do you want me to Include my fingers?” (applies to both the man or woman)
Righty-o. Now that I’ve waffled on, let’s discuss how to give good oral, whether you’re a beginner or not. Every day is a learning day, after all!
Oral sex on a woman
Okay. Quick disclaimer. Some of this advice is coming from my personal perspective, some from my own research, and some from asking other men how to give good oral.
Remember: women have many erogenous zones, see below:
Foreplay starts well before you get to her nether-regions.
Now, let’s look at women’s lovely lady parts with a useful diagram:
I’ve talked previously about what pleases women based on their anatomy (penis size does not matter), but I don’t really touch on oral sex.
You can see that we’ve got her thigh, outer and inner labia, urethra, clitoris and vagina.
Firstly, start with her inner thigh. Kissing or licking this area will feel really good for her. You could also start higher up with her belly. Make sure to keep it slow as there’s no rush.
Next, keep kissing and licking as you move towards her sensitive area. Use your thumbs to rub her labia, and in different directions. Try sucking each of her labia. Some women prefer softer kisses and licks, some may want more pressure and suction. It’s important to find out what she likes.
Try using your fingers to open up her lips so you can get your tongue in and around her.
The key now is to not clamp your mouth straight onto her clit and start sucking like your life depends on it. Trust me when I say it may even cause her pain.
Slow is definitely the best way to begin when giving her great oral sex. Women need foreplay and a build up to penetration.
Move onto licks and gentle kisses AROUND her clit, not directly on it. Personally, this is a sure-fire way to lead me to orgasm.
Once you’ve built her up for a while now, try sucking her clit, but extremely gently. Tease it with your tongue while you slide your fingers inside her.
Let her reactions guide you. Listen to her breathing and the sounds she makes.
Use a ‘come hither’ motion with your fingers to reach her G spot and stimulate potential orgasm.
If she tells you to keep doing something, do exactly that. She doesn’t want you to go faster, slower or anything different. Just carry on doing what you’re doing.
Finally, enjoy the process. Don’t put pressure on her to cum or keep asking if she is going to cum. Let things take its course. We (should) all know that performance anxiety is a real thing for both men and women.
Oral on a man
Right then. Let’s discuss giving blow jobs.
As a woman, I’ve definitely figured out how to give good blow jobs. I suppose it’s easier to give good oral sex to a man.
But I do want to still address this as part of this article.
Let’s look at the male anatomy:
I’m not going to address the prostate today, that’s for another article. What you can see is that there are also many parts to the male anatomy. It isn’t just the penis and balls. Just like how women aren’t just a hole to be fucked. Yeah, no.
I’ve learned a few things during my many years of blow-jobbing (is that a phrase? Ha):
Absolutely no teeth included
Girls, do not teeth the dick. Unless your guy is submissive/likes pain/wants to be dommed, don’t get your teeth on his dick. Use your mouth and tongue only.
Sucking is good
Sucking dick can and will feel good for most men. When I suck, I do actually mean creating a suction with your mouth. Multitasking doesn’t cum (pun intended) easy to me though. I can suck but I can’t do much else.
Do what comes naturally to you
There are many ways to give please through oral sex. Do what comes naturally to you, and what you’re comfortable with. If you’re struggling for ideas, look at this:
I found this image from lovehoney.com. Their article on giving good head has some great examples (with diagrams) on where to focus on the shaft. This one is my fav!
Of course, this isn’t the only way to give good oral. You could also do your own research, and, of course, watch some porn. Remember though, porn is theatrical. It’s exaggerated and not a realistic representation of how us normies do it. Take it with a pinch of salt.
Sloppy can feel good
Slop, saliva and lube will always make blow jobs feel better. It recreates the wet vagina. I don’t have a penis myself 😂 but I do know that the sloppier the better.
The balls need attention too
A man’s balls need attention too. Lots of men love having them licked, sucked and pulled. Don’t be shy and ignore their sensitive undercarriage.
Make eye contact
Seeing a woman look up to them when receiving good head is a huge turn on for men. Whether you’ve got your face delved deep in their balls, or whether you’re deep-throating their dick, they want to see your eyes.
Make eye contact. Let them see you giving your all. If you’re gagging, they want to see your eyes watering.
Suck him on your knees
I’m not sure if I’m in the minority but there’s nothing better for me than having a guy standing up, me on my knees, and them cumming on my face. I like it.
If you want to give a good blow job, make him stand up, you on your knees, and suck him. Look up to him from that position and I guarantee he will blow his load on your face.
Finally, let him cum on your face and mouth
I’ve found that for men, they love the thought of cumming on your face, boobs, mouth or arse. It’s a big turn on for me (personal preference, of course). Let them do it.
*Disclaimer*
When I did my escorting back at age 22, the only way I knew I’d done my job was through penetrative sex. That’s just the way it was back then.
Ten years later, I’ve discovered that there is so much more than just vanilla sex, that men enjoy the whole experience and it doesn’t need to end with boring missionary.
Well done if you’ve made it this far 😂 nearly 1700 words of goodness!
Have I missed anything? Let me know in the comments!
Toodledoo
Lexi Rose xx
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