To try and inspire myself (it’s been a struggle recently), I decided to re-read the comments on an older post.
It was the one where I asked you, my amazing readers, to comment with any questions you had.
You can read it here: The 411: Ask Me Anything. If you fancied reading my response to some of the comments, read that here.
I was blown away by the response, but had to limit what I responded to in the subsequent post.
However, one comment that stuck out to me and I don’t think I truly addressed it.
Has my opinion changed of men whilst being involved in sex work/the sex industry, and what have I learned about men?
Let’s talk about that today.
I’ve learned that things have changed, massively, since my first stint in sex work
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while now, you’ll know that I had a brief stint in the sex industry when I was at university. I was twenty-ish years old and did some sex work and webcam work.
That experience was never negative, but it was about twenty-five years ago now. As you can imagine, things have definitely changed since then.
WhatsApp wasn’t a thing, showing my mobile number on Adultwork was free, and most people phoned me. Outcalls were more common, and it got me through my poor university days. I was twenty years old, though. We all know that I was probably more searched for back then.
Nowadays, Adultwork has vastly changed, there are lots of escorts fighting for the top search rankings in their area, and time wasters are ridiculous.
The interactions I have with men are completely different now, neither good nor bad. Just different.
I’ve learned that men can be very adventurous, more than I realised
Thinking back to my first stint, things were very… vanilla. Yes, I caned a man with a bamboo stick at his request, but that was it.
Nowadays, the emails and messages I get (or used to get until I removed my number from all websites), can only be described as… ‘colourful’.
Ranging from threesomes, to hardsports, to outdoor stuff, and more.
My eyes have been truly prised open, forcefully. Men are way more adventurous than I ever knew!
Not even in a bad way, either.
It’s allowed me to try things I never would have done before, too.
Some examples include:
My First Ever Sploshing Experience
An Erotic Encounter with My Favourite Married Couple and an Unusual Ending
Of course, I’ve learned that this adventurous side of men I’ve discovered has downsides. But, overall, it’s been positive.
I’ve learned that men care more about women’s pleasure than I realised
Thinking back to my first stint in sex work, it felt very much like, ‘Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’.
And that’s okay. I knew what I was getting myself into.
Nowadays, I’ve learned that men really do enjoy pleasing a woman and get a lot out of it. Twenty-five years ago, this seemed unheard-of.
Gifts of the vibrating kind have been gratefully received, and focus on my pleasure has made a welcome surprise. Men – please don’t ever stop doing this!
I’ve learned that hating men because I’ve experienced sex work is a myth
As a sex worker, or even someone involved in the sex industry, I’m probably supposed to hate men. I should feel used and abused, and think that men are only out to get one thing.
Although this might be true for some women’s experiences, and some men’s motives, it’s not been mine.
I don’t hate men. I couldn’t hate anyone or anything if I tried.
I’m not ‘jaded’ or ‘damaged’ by my involvement in sex work.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been times when men have annoyed or irritated me. But that’s through things like the time-wasting, my burnt-out-ness, or my overwhelm with the intensity that bookings create.
I don’t hate men because of sex work.
Some sex workers probably do because of their lived experiences, and that’s okay. None of us have any right to say otherwise.
In conclusion, I’ve learned a great deal about men because, and as a result, of sex work.
I wouldn’t change that knowledge for the world.
Toodledo,
Lexi Rose
Xx
2 Comments