I had a difficult and upsetting conversation this week with a client I’d met for the first time, two weeks ago.
I was threatened with negative feedback for not replying to their messages. When I replied that I didn’t appreciate passive aggressive comments, I was told to learn some manners and respect, and that I was in the wrong for my zero communication.
This was after receiving seven messages over 5 days, getting more emotionally charged as the days went on.
The finale of these messages meant I had no choice but to block, and, dare I admit, I shed a few tears over the exchange.
The last thing I ever want to do is to make a scene. I really don’t like confrontation, but I will stand up for myself if need be.
I replied saying that I appreciated having it explained on how to act in future, and wished them a good shift at work.
Truthfully, I finished off by telling them that I bowed to their godly might, but sarcasm embodies my sense of humour; my humour is my main coping mechanism.
Another recent exchange with a man involved being accused of having a fake profile, and that was because my pictures were old. All of the photos on my escort profile are, at most, 4 months old.
The situations described are the very first I’ve had with a clients, and has prompted a very important topic when it comes to sex workers and boundaries/consent.
Again, if you feel like I’m bursting some of your bubbles right now, that’s definitely a good thing. If I’m making you feel uncomfortable before you’ve even read the whole article, it’s really important you read to the end.
Firstly, you have no right to my time – respect my boundaries
If you’re not sure how to communicate with an escort, here is a handy guide to read. In fact, reading this guide on basic communication with a business is probably where you should start.
Just like you, I am working a job. Of course, mine is far from conventional. Yes, the lines can be blurred when offering the girlfriend experience. Nonetheless, no one is entitled to my time, just like I would never assume I have any right to your time.
Read the room – consent isn’t something to be argued with. If she doesn’t reply, don’t bombard her with further messages, and absolutely do not tell her that she should be grateful for your communication.
Escorts are providing a high-risk service, especially outcalls – please be respectful
If you’re a punter reading this, you know the risk involved in visiting an escort for the first time. It must be mega nerve-wracking; not knowing what you’re walking into. Trust me, I’ve read some horrific reviews on the UK Punting site.
The same goes for us escorts. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the Ipswich killer, lovingly named the ‘Suffolk Strangler’. Read more on our Steve here, if you want to educate yourself.
Please know that I’m not trying to play the victim game here. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, and know the risks involved in sex work.
All I’m saying is, sending threatening messages to an escort only adds to their anxiety. Being bombarded with messages can be excruciatingly un-nerving.
Finally, my expert eye on time-wasters is VERY finely tuned
I say this, but I’ve fallen foul of 70+ positive feedback accounts that have still messed me around. It would be naive of me to say that I won’t be taken advantage of again. But, at least I’ve learned a lot this time around and I’d appreciate not being taken the mick out of again.
Ultimately, don’t make me feel like crap, because I would never want to make you feel like crap.
As always, I’m 100% open to the punter’s perspective, so please comment! I’m all ears.
Love,
Lexi Rose xx
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