What motivates you (me)?
Another WordPress prompt that I felt compelled to answer!
I suppose I’m still a bit unsure as to the direction I want to take my blog.
So, what actually motivates me? Why do I keep writing here?
On the one hand, I want to provide a tongue-in-cheek account from a working girl.
I also want to provide honest, bubble-bursting, evidence-based advice from an escort that you just can’t approach your friends about.
I wish I had a blog like this to read when I was escorting at 22. One that was aimed at both the escort and the punter.
Yes, I had SAAFE (Support and Advice For Escorts) at the time. It helped me loads. When I had finally plucked up the guts to even post a new thread asking for advice, which was rarely, I was given caring and much needed advice.
P.S. punters should also check this out, it’s probably eye-opening and I’m not a gatekeeper – go read.
Also, yes, I found other escort’s professional websites that I stalked, and was in complete awe at the time. But, it was geared towards their punters.
Also, also, I knew about “Secret Diary of a Call Girl”, but that blog was long gone (view here – last post 2014) and Belle De Jour was outed by the time I’d started escorting.
The point I’m trying to make is that, right now, it doesn’t seem like there’s a sex blog out there written by an escort that provides evidence-based info.
If I’m wrong, please tell me. I’ve explored the other sex blogs out there and non seem to come from an actual sex worker.
So this is what motivates me.
What else motivates me?
1. Freedom and choice
Since quitting teaching, I can’t even explain the relief I feel now that I can set my own schedule and not be confined to the school walls for a minimum of nine hours each day.
I now have freedom and the choice to decide so much more about my life.
The first blog I wrote (read more here about it, it was a mental health blog) allowed me to explore avenues that made a smidgen of money.
This sex blog also has that potential.
I’m crap at keeping secrets, so consider this a scoop.
I’ve already created a sexual exploration e-workbook, am looking into an online shop, and have plans for physical products. I have big hopes for this blog.
The choice and freedom this blog is giving me is just amazing, thanks to you, my dearest readers.
2. Making people happy
You might have realised by now that I love to make people happy.
Whether that’s through this blog, through my escorting, or even just chatting to people when I go to the shops.
I learned early on at aged 17, and working in the Co-Op, that the elderly people I served may not have had any human interaction that day, other than speaking to me.
I did always wonder why I was put on the tills during my shift. I realised why some years later.
I make people happy. I smile a lot, and I’m chatty.
Although I can’t see you reading this, I know a person is reading my words. I get positive feedback constantly about this blog, and it keeps me going.
It truly motivates me.
3. Writing
As well as above, I like to think my writing makes people happy. Yes, I know, my writing is also a little bursty-bubbly, but I did warn you.
Other than that, writing this blog keeps me motivated when things are a little slow on the escort-front.
You have no idea how motivating it is for me to be able to write freely on this little space on the web I own.
My cats motivate me
Yes, I have cats.
Yes, I’m an ex-teacher (which probably put me off having kids).
Yes, society tells me I should have kids by now (36 at point of writing).
Yes, I don’t care about continuing my bloodline. My bloodline is riddled with alcoholism and mental health disorders. It would be cruel to bring a child into this world with hereditary diseases they’d probably inherit.
No, I don’t expect my family to care for me when I’m old (I did that for my bi-polar dad for 10 years, to then be accused of taking his money and be told he considered his care home staff as family over his children). Fuck that.
Oh, and, I might miss out on knowing true fulfilment/love from having kids.
But, I’d rather miss out on that fulfilment/feeling that love at the risk of bringing a child into this world that might suffer mentally or physically. To me, that’s completely selfless.
My animals motivate me. That is all.
I’ve spent time researching and reading these papers in the hope that it dispels any commentary telling me I’ll end up sad, lonely, my bloodline will end, or that I’m selfish for not having kids. I promise you, its absolutely on the contrary.
If you’re interested in reading more about the childfree like me, here are some studies and articles.
“I am my own future” representations and experiences of childfree women (Salgado, F, Magalhães, S, I. (2024) Science Direct, “I am my own future” representations and experiences of childfree women [online], Volume 102. Available at: here [Accessed 24/08/24].
Childless women and mothers (Slawson, N. (2023). The chasm between mothers and childless women is widening. The Guardian [online]. Available at: here [Accessed 24/08/24].
Choosing Childfree (Population Matters (2024). Choosing Childfree. [online] Available at: here. [Accessed 24/08/24].
5. The future
My final point is that my future finally motivates me. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to say that.
When I started my teacher training, the passion I had for the young people I taught was immense. I did, and still do, care deeply for all of the children I taught.
But, as time went by, it wavered. The school I worked at took every part of me, both physically and mentally. It was a tough school, and one with extremely high standards, threatening OFSTED the whole two years I was there.
Now, though, the future is freeing. I look forward to it.
That’s all folks!
Ta ta for now,
Lexi Rose xx
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