Do you wish it was so much more easier if we all talked about masturbation more? I do.
I want to talk about a topic that I don’t think gets talked about enough (as the title suggests!).
We’re talking masturbation.
Flicking the bean, pleasuring oneself, whacking one off, bashing the Bishop, stroking the sausage, digging for clams, jerking off, slugging the sister, or whatever else you want to call it. Oh, and yes, I did just Google some of those.
All of us at some point have masturbated. Some of us started doing it at a very early age. Others may have been a bit slower to the game.
I’ve been masturbating a long time. But it wasn’t until I was 19 that I experienced my first ever orgasm. I’d bought a bullet vibrator, took myself off to bed and aimed straight for my clitoris. I still remember the tingling bliss of a full body orgasm that day, and I discovered I was able to reach multiple orgasms in one go. My record for multiple orgasms was eight.
Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time perfecting the art of masturbating, both by myself and with previous partners.
That’s why I felt that we should talk more about it. So, I’ve put a list together of things that you should know when it comes to masturbating. Things that we don’t talk enough about!
Women are still stigmatised for masturbating
As a woman, and in my own personal experience, unfortunately for us we are still told to be demure, and not sexually active. We are branded sluts if heaven forbid we have had a number of sexual partners. How dare we enjoy sex?!
It is only recently that the female orgasm and the clitoris has had real research conducted. It is still possible to find far more studies around the male orgasm.
You can also see the dichotomy between male and female masturbation in recent studies. Research has shown that men masturbate more than double that of women, and women are now masturbating less than they were compared with 2 years ago (71 times per year on average).
That’s not to say I am male-bashing or hating on the men in any way. I love men! Without men, the vibrator would never have been invented (worth researching if you’re interested – it’s a comical historical event for you to read about!).
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that women unfortunately do get the tough end of the stick when it comes to masturbation. Things have definitely improved in the past 25 years, but the stigma is still there nonetheless.
Masturbating is not embarassing
I remember at 15 being horrified that one of my friends had already had sex. I was totally embarrassed. I went to an all-girls school many moons ago, and could not hold a conversation with a boy until I got to college at 16, where it all went swiftly downhill (or uphill, depending how you view it).
And no, we were not fingering and fucking each other like slaggy lesbians in the toilets at every moment we got, contrary to popular belief of all-girl schools.
It was only when I got into my early twenties (specifically around the age of 21) did I start to feel less embarrassed about masturbation. I actually became a bit of an advocate to my friends on the benefits of vibrators.
I took one girl vibrator shopping to Ann Summers, and one Christmas I was given a pack of 24 batteries as a secret santa present at work. I probably should have been embarrassed since my whole team saw it, but my dark sense of humour loved it.
So, please do not be embarrassed about masturbating. We should, in fact, be talking about masturbating more.
Everybody is masturbating
Whether you realise it or not, everybody is masturbating, or has done in the past. Your mum, your dad, yes, even your granny.
You might not like to think of your family in that way, but it’s a fact of life. I bet you’d be surprised by some of the antics your mum got up to.
Pleasure is being had by lots of people, all of the time, all over the country. I know this because of the industry I work in, and I take part in this pleasure, being an escort ‘an all.
Don’t feel bad for wanting in on the ecstacy that is the orgasm.
Masturbation is fun to do with someone else too!
Pleasuring oneself doesn’t have to be a solo adventure. Sure, it’s definitely worthwhile and advisable to figure out what you enjoy. However, it can be just as fun to play with someone else in the mix.
Now. I know what you might be thinking. Maybe you’re single, or maybe you’re in a relationship where you might not have the confidence to bring the idea up. Maybe the thought is too nerve-wracking for you right now.
On a previous post, I addressed the things that women want to hear in bed. One of the points I made was that communication is key. Being able to talk about what you like (and don’t like) is really important, and highly recommended. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs.
Finally, you could always book me 
(shameless plug right there – visit my contact me page here), and we can explore this together.
It is not possible to ‘masturbate too much’
When researching for this post, I decided to see what myths there were around masturbation. One of the points that came up was that there might be adverse effects from masturbating too much.
I’m here to tell you that this is a complete myth. There are absolutely no harmful side effects, physically or mentally. Masturbation is fun, healthy and actually improves sexual wellbeing. Of course, your religion may view this differently, but you should just listen to me instead! Haha.
That being said, if you’re masturbating at the detriment to your family/friends/partner, work life, finances, or you’re engaging to risky behaviour as part of it, it’s not great. It is entirely possible to get addicted to masturbating, so make sure you spot any warning signs of this early on.
Masturbation is a learning journey
As I mentioned above, having my first orgasm wayyy past the point of first masturbating, it’s most definitely a learning journey.
There is no right or wrong way to masturbate, and it might take you many attempts at bashing the Bishop or flicking the bean to know what you truly enjoy.
What about kinks? I’m pretty sure that most adolescents don’t realise they have a fisting fetish, or they liked their nipples being clamped.
Masturbation involves much more than the penis and clitoris.
You may (or may not) be surprised to know that your body has many more erogenous (the places that turn you on) zones than just the sex bits.
Take a look at this image below:
As you can see, there is so much more to explore than just the genitalia. Me, for example, I love kissing, teasing and caressing. Makes sense as a GFE escort, right? Foreplay is so so important, and not just for women, either.
So, the next time you decide you want to give someone a pounding, at least get some bloody lube out. No woman wants to be hammered up the jacksie without some kind of preparation. Unless you want to rip her up and she decides never to see you again.
Harder and faster is not always better
My final point, if you’ve made it this far, is that no, harder and faster is not always better when it comes to the art of masturbation.
Do not, and I repeat, do not rub her clit as if you’re polishing your shoes.
If she tells you she is loving it, she is faking it.
Gentle approaches are much better, and allows you more time to see your partners reaction. Start off slow, and work upwards from there. Also, who doesn’t love seeing the pleasure you’re giving washing over their face? I know I do.
Okay. Honestly, if you’ve made it this far, get yourself a cream pie. Sorry. Cream cake is what I actually meant.
I really hope that this post has opened your eyes into the reasons why masturbation is not talked about enough. Let’s all be less British and talk about our wants and needs.
Lots of love
Lexi Rose xx
