Another thought-provoking subject for you.
As you know, I quite enjoy the WordPress prompts I get through the app, the one I write my posts on. I can choose to respond to their prompts, or not.
If you didn’t know, WordPress poses open-ended questions each day that encourages dialogue from their users. It’s very clever, and certainly works on me.
So, I’d like to talk about a topic/issue where I’ve changed my mind.
The first thing I’d like to say is that, based on research I’ve done, people tend to not want to change their mind on things they know about.
Usually, we’ve learned mostly from family and friends, media (online nowadays), perceived credibility (views we base our thoughts and ideas on that we believe are trustworthy and produced by someone knowledgeable, etc.), and many more factors.
This creates some resistance to change, and I absolutely understand this. Why would we want to change our views when we trust those closest to us to know best?
If you’d like to read more, Yovolo has an extensive article about this theory, and how we form our opinions. Definitely worth a read.
Anyway, back to the topic in hand.
There have been a multitude of topics and issues that I’ve changed my opinion on.
Here are just a few!
The sex industry
Being part of the sex industry has absolutely changed how I view it today. Yes, I escorted and did webcam work back in my university days, but things were different back then. That was over twenty years ago now. I didn’t have the confidence or experience I have now.
It means that I am able to feel much more in control of the situations I put myself in.
Also, being part of the sex industry now involves this blog. Sometimes, I have struggled to write articles for this post, and I’ve been honest about that. But I still enjoy reading the comments and insights that people give me.
This blog gives me a very unique insight into the sex industry that I never even envisioned a year ago.
Embarrassment around kinks/fetishes
I think that my thoughts around this topic have changed partly from experience and confidence, and as I’ve gotten older.
I did feel a little bit adverse to kinks and fetishes when I was younger. Most likely due to inexperience and not knowing myself.
Thinking back to my first ever experience with fetishism, I definitely would approach it differently now.
Back then, I was contacted by an older gentleman who enjoyed being whipped with a bamboo cane.
Although not something I would engage with now (I’ve realised that I’m not a sadist or masochist), my mind was open back then. He told me that, usually, women offering BDSM services don’t involve sex, and that’s what he was looking for; a bit of both. I was okay with this back then. We had a few sessions together, and he was overall a very educated and caring man. He even let me keep one of his bamboo canes! I learned a lot.
Nothing embarrasses me anymore, and I’m open to most things. This is 100% down to me knowing what I do and don’t like, something that has taken years to understand.
To me, it’s so important to not feel embarrassed about what turns you on. The only line I draw is anything that is against the law.
Want to read more? Here are some articles I’ve written on the topic:
Exploring Sexuality – A Guide to Kinks and Fetishes
Risky Sex and Sex in Outdoor Places – Is It Worth It?
My First Ever Sploshing Experience
Women being expected to have babies/get married/start a family
This is a difficult topic to write about for me as there is so much to unpack. I’ll definitely write a separate post if you’d be interested. For now, I’m going to try and keep this short.
Growing up, it was always instilled in me that:
- Thirty years of age is the cut off point for women to safely have children. I should definitely try to have kids before then
- As a woman, I should naturally want to have kids, it was expected of me
- Children provide love that I’d never supposedly understand
- Who will look after me when I’m old if I don’t have offspring?
- It’s selfish to not want kids
- I could always adopt if I missed the fertile boat
When I got to thirty, I was: single, going through teacher training, in COVID lockdown, in shared accomodation to save money, and in no financial position to even think about having a child. It would have been the most irresponsible and selfish idea to even think about bringing a child into this world then.
Part of me thought, “Oh crap. I’m a failure. I should be married, have kids, have a mortgage, etc. etc”.
Luckily for me, my mum never pushed or pressured me to have kids. My dad, on the other hand, always made it known that he couldn’t wait to have grandchildren, even going back to my twenties. He stopped saying that after a while, seeing the relationships I’d been in. That was years before I had to go no-contact with him.
Then, I think about climate change and that any child I bring into this world is going to have to deal with the effects of this. I’m also very aware of current political instabilities across the globe.
You might have heard of the Doomsday Clock which was created in 1947. It is a metaphor that represents how close we are to global catastrophe, mostly through nuclear weapon threat. Currently, its stable at 90 seconds to midnight; midnight being global world ending.
So, yes, my view on having children has absolutely changed. I think it’s healthy and mature to see different points of view, and that it’s okay to change your mind on things.
The education system
Before I worked as a teacher, all I knew about the education system was what I’d experienced as a student in school. That’s most people’s experience, too. Until you work in a school or as a teacher, your views are based on what you experienced, and that’s totally fine, too.
My thoughts and views about the education system have changed in a number of ways.
The UKs education system definitely is one of the best in the world.
Here is the current global ranking of education systems:
Ignoring this, I know that our education system is one of the best because of the teacher training I was provided through a traditional ‘red brick’ university (based on my privilege scoring, me being accepted onto the course was a feat in itself – I’ve included an image to show this at the end of this post).
The training I had directly feeds into my teaching. Teacher training was intense, draining, and I had no social life. Every teacher gives their mind, body and soul into the job; I do, anyway.
Why do I think this? I reflect after each lesson I teach so I can improve for next time. I plan for the special educational needs of the children. I think about what would be fun, yet provide learning. I encourage discussion and critical thinkers, the list goes on.
Did I understand this when I was at school? Absolutely not. School for me was a chore.
We’re also held against the teacher standards, which is a little bit like the hippocratic oath that doctors agree to around patient care.
So, there you have it!
Here’s the privilege scoring I mentioned above:
What are your thoughts?
Do you agree with any of my points? Have you changed your mind on topics or issues?
I’d love to know your thoughts!
Toodle-pip,
Lexi Rose
Xx
