“Do I make you horny, baby? Do I? Do I make you randy?!”
Ninety-nine percent of you reading this will most definitely know this quote. You’ve gotta love a bit of Austin Powers.
Being the swinging sixties, I’m guessing that that was their version of dirty talk at the time. It probably would have been pretty ‘out there’ considering the prudishness of sex, abortion and pregnancy at the time.
If a guy asked me today if they made me horny or randy, it would lead to:
1. Me not wanting to answer that question
2: Me most likely blocking them
3: Me not ever wanting to engage with them ever again
That just won’t cut it today, will it? I mean, it’s not about men being “beta” as the Andy Tattertot trope dictates, it’s more that women’s sexual freedom has (willing this is actually true) relaxed a bit.
Some men do actually want to make a woman orgasm and see them burst.
Men do actually want to see me tensing, clenching, and then pushing me over the edge of pulsating climax.
Hopefully it’s not just me thinking this.
Dirty talk is roleplay
Telling your partner she’s a dirty little slut does not mean you think she is actually a dirty little slut.
Some women (and men) really enjoy being told that they’re a bit dirty. It might not be something they’re used to. Being told you’re a slut can actually feel quite exciting and naughty.
I personally love being told that I’m naughty, that I’m a dirty slut, that I’ve been so dirty that I deserve being fucked hard and made to orgasm because that’s my punishment.
Of course, that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
I also enjoy being the one that dominates (I’m a switch). I enjoy telling you that you need to get hard for me, that you need to lick me to orgasm because that’s what YOU deserve to do, and you serve me. Being called ‘Miss’ or ‘Mistress’ comes with this territory.
I know it’s a little bit embarrassing engaging in dirty talk if you think too much into it. If it helps you, imagine you’re role playing. Imagine that your dirty talk is being said by someone else.
It helps you to disconnect with the words being said and may get your partner’s juices flowing like never before.
Communication is key with dirty talk
I really cannot reiterate this enough. You HAVE to have the confidence in discussing what is okay and what isn’t. Without this, trust isn’t built and it may end up doing more harm than good.
As mentioned above, words hold value. Some of us are more sensitive to certain words than others. Personally, I hate the words slag and cunt. These words hold connotations that, for me, should never be brought into the bedroom.
As a lady of the night, of course, there isn’t always the time to make connection and address each other’s limits.
What I can say though, is that I am absolutely happy to tell my client when I’m not okay with something. Not once has this led to a negative experience. If anything, it’s led to a more personal and positive connection for the both of us.
Boundaries are important with dirty talk
Similarly to communication, having boundaries is important when it comes to dirty talk.
To be fair, I’ve only just had the confidence to be able to communicate my boundaries in the past few years.
It takes guts to be able to tell someone no, or that you’re not comfortable with certain services in my case.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to define, pinpoint and communicate my absolute boundaries. I didn’t even know what my boundaries were until last year.
Being able to talk about and enforce your boundaries is really important when having fun with dirty talk.
Counselor Lexi Rose has now left the room. Lecture over.
Have fun with dirty talk
Bringing it back now to the fun and games that is dirty talk, I can honestly say that in-the-moment sex talk can be really fun.
The ultimate goal of dirty sex talk in the bedroom is to not to feel embarrassed. It’s all about enjoying each other, sometimes laughing about the awkwardness of it,
Above all, just don’t bloody overthink that stuff.
Dirty talk is healthy (whether you realise it or not)
Once you get over the slight awkwardness of dirty talking in the bedroom, it can actually be so healthy for both you and the person you’re with.
Personally, I get to say things during sex talk that I’d never say in real life. Heaven forbid my mum ever found out that I love a good facial?! Or that I want to be filled with hot spunk?
Yeah, no.
I mean… I say this but there’s something in me that says it might not be that of a shock for her 😂
Anyway, sexy dirty talk is healthy because you’re talking to your sexual partner(s) and you’re setting healthy boundaries.
Lexi Rose xx
Believe me when I say that all of the above is normal, and will hopefully help you feel less silly during sexy talk.
If you want further reading, here are some tried and tested useful links for you:
A Beginner’s Guide to Talking Dirty Virtually or IRL
The Beginner’s Guide to Talking Dirty in Bed
Don’t Feel Weird About Talking Dirty In The Bedroom, It Can Do Wonders For Your Sex Life
Toodledo for now!
Love,
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