*warning*
I am going to touch on some sensitive subjects today, which includes personal experiences I’ve gone through.
I’d really appreciate it if we could stay respectful of personal experiences that I and others may have gone through in the comments.
I, of all people, know that most men don’t think that women are ‘asking for it’. But, there is still that stereotype.
Let me rewind a bit as to how this blog post came about.
I’ve just been watching a documentary on BBC Three by Emily Atack: Asking For It?
The scene I’ve just watched was around Emily asking a group of men why other men send unsolicited dick pics to girls as young as 12, women, and celebrities.
They said, “Because we can”. Another man said that he’d recently came out as bisexual. He said that the minute that happened, almost the day later, he started getting dick pics that were unwanted.
Emily flippantly said something like, “Welcome to the club”. This particular man admitted it was horrible and very a unpleasant experience.
Another man in the group said that when he went to university, he realised that there was so much pressure on him to look a certain way, and that ‘hook up’ culture was another pressure for him.
Emily had been receiving messages from men for years, one embarrassingly called “Daddy Dave” (a name he gave himself), among others.
Emily also interviewed some school-aged girls which highlighted that they felt they were targeted even more when they were in their school uniform. This reminded me of a time when I was walking to school in my uniform: a grey jumper, skirt and tights. I was 15 at the time. A man in a white van shouted at me, “Nice tits”.
Was I asking for it then? Does me wearing makeup (for myself and no-one else) mean I’m asking for it? Wearing a nice dress that makes me feel confident mean I’m asking for it?
Anyway, I’d highly recommend watching Emily Atack’s documentary if you get a chance. It’s a well produced documentary, with some difficult discussions worth thinking about.Y
You can click the image below to take to to BBC iPlayer:
The topic got me thinking about my current role. I’m a sex worker. I’m used to receiving messages of an explicit nature and usually just results in an eye roll when I know the senders are just looking to indulge in their fantasy.
It’s why I don’t answer phone calls anymore (unless I’ve met the client before and have a level of trust). I try and send a text after, asking if they’d like to make a booking. But it never usually results in much, confirming what I already knew.
Here are a few of the types of messages I receive almost daily:
- Domination/humiliation descriptions. Sometimes quite graphic
- Objectified one-liners referring to my boobs/bum/body in general
- Fantasies from men wanting to cheat on their wife and wanting to know how much I’d enjoy it
- Fantasies around school aged girls, specifics including me wearing white cotton underwear which gives the illusion of immaturity/childlike-ness.
- On my mobile, I’ve received unsolicited dick pics
- Being told to fuck off when I don’t reciprocate a booking.
Just to name a few.
So. My question to you, my lovely readers, are women asking for it?
If you decide to leave a comment, just remember that you do have to leave an email address, but no-one sees it, not even me (I tested it!).
I’d love to know your thoughts. Remember: please be respectful!
Love,
Lexi Rose xx
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